Celebrating Birthday’s and Life’s Moments (a time-travelers tale).
Is it me or are some of the most profound life lessons found in “time travel” movies? People who want to change the past. People who didn’t know how they would affect the future by their present choices. People who must learn some kind of lesson before the repetitive loop ends and they’re allowed to move forward.
The past “pebbles of decision” thrown into the sea of life, causing cosmic, life arc bending ripples, that generate into the present and future.
It’s about . . . time.
One day bleeds into the next, and the next. Seasons come and go, life marches on seemingly faster and faster. We live as if every day is just another day . . . and yet, it’s not – or rather, it doesn’t have to be.
Speaking of movies. It’s cool to think how a moment in life, is as a scene in a movie. And like a movie, this scene, this moment – will never happen ever again. So, how can we use this perspective on the power of a moment to inspire us to transform more of life’s moments from “ordinary” to extraordinary.
It’s one thing to let an ordinary moment pass by without maximizing or capitalizing on it – but what about the moments that should stand out and train our attention – like a Birthday.
For a time, my birthday used to mean a lot more to me. Before I got, you know – old. “Birthdays are for children right, no need to make a fuss, I’m past all the important markers”. Teenager, 16, 18, 21 and then it all blurs together.
I’m happy to say, I’ve got my Birthday mojo back – and I want you to too. Let me tell you how.
It all started with an epiphany to go beyond the proverbial “Live in the Moment” to the much more profound idea of “Living the Moment”. To do this, let’s begin with true appreciation for the power of a moment. As I’ll explain, there is a monumental difference between merely “living in the moment” and “living the moment”.
Definition:
Living in the Moment (LiTM) = Being present in the moment and enjoying it without distraction.
Living the Moment (LTM) = Same as above, with the key difference being a mindset where you are “looking for the potential of the moment”, focused solely on saying things and taking actions with the focus on the other person – without regard to yourself or anticipation of reciprocity.
In short, asking “how can I make this moment better for the other person sharing the moment with you” or, how can I transform this seemingly ordinary moment into something extraordinary.
To understanding what that looks like, let’s use the movie “Back to the Future” as the source for our inspiration.
If you’re still reading this, please continue, I guarantee a huge payoff that can (and I don’t say this lightly) transform your current and future life.
Marty McFly is a frustrated teenager whose family is just scraping by financially. His parents, George and Lorraine, are tired, sad, and resentful of one another. Events conspire to make Marty use a time machine to travel from 1985 to 1955. While interacting with people in 1955, in particular his mother, Marty inadvertently steals her affections, disrupting the natural arc that would have eventually lead to his parents meeting and falling in love.
Now that his teenaged future mother Lorraine has developed a crush on him, he becomes keenly aware of how his thoughtless actions have in a very real way, jeopardized his very existence. Marty’s only opportunity to travel back to the future will be in one week when he can harness needed energy from a particular lightning bolt during a storm. In that time, he must undo the damage he’s done and ensure George and Lorraine fall in love or else, there will be no future to return to – he will never be born.
The stakes couldn’t be higher, as illustrated by a Polaroid picture of Marty with his two siblings. As the deadline for his parents to kiss and fall in love approaches, with no sign that it is going to happen, the brother and sister begin to fade out of the photo little by little – and Marty’s next.
Marty caused this problem by not considering the consequences of his actions which created a negative ripple effect that put his life in danger. Once he becomes aware of his dire situation, his decision making becomes laser focused, living as it were in the moment, spending a lot of time trying to convince teenage George to romantically pursue Lorraine. This is as it should be and it’s the way most of us would act when our acuteness to our actions is peaked. It’s good to at least LiTM, rather than how we normally go through the scenes of our lives, oblivious to the effects of our words and actions.
Marty is currently LiTM but then, briefly, he unknowingly slips past the line of LiTM where each action is based upon ensuring his survival, and he turns his attention to his father. He realizes his dad could use a friend and a little building up helping him see that if he puts his mind to it, he can do anything.
Marty encourages his father to develop and share his talents as a writer and fight back against Biff, his bully and the romantic rival for Lorraine. When Marty does these things, he stops simply LiTM and begins to LTM.
Eventually, those pep talks are what help George find the confidence to stand up to Biff and most crucially, kiss Lorraine – cementing their love and saving Marty’s life. Objective achieved.
But the secret and surprise to the movie ending and to our lives as well, is this truth.
When you LTM, your life will be better than it would have been.
In fact, there is always an accompanying positive ripple effect that attends the action, generating predictable positive consequences. In this case, a happier family and more prosperous father who is a successful science fiction author and parents that have a great, loving relationship.
In essence – LiTM gets you back to 1985. It gets you home. But it’s the LTM peripheral ripple effect that puts a sweet truck in your garage.
We all have a “life polaroid” . . . that is constantly developing. To ensure the best future picture, LTM. In this case, Marty stumbled into LTM with his father . . . but think about how much better it is when we do it deliberately, regularly, and as a way of life.
Stay with me, there’s more. To have the actual mindset of LTM, is to drive the tricked-out DeLorean. It’s the vehicle we can use to see the future, and then in real time, make adjustments that change our future into how we want it to be.
Now, if we stop and think about how important each action we take is to our future, it should give us pause as we ponder how few of our decisions and actions are made deliberately. I’m no cold-fusion scientist, but is it unreasonable to think we make 90% of our decisions unconsciously and without regard to how it will affect our future selves or others?
Here’s the thing, just being alive causes ripples and not taking an action, is in itself, an action that has consequences. One of the keys to a happy, successful, and fulfilled life then is to learn the “art of deliberate decision making” with an eye fixed to the future while actively truing your Life Arc (polaroid) in real time.
Ponder this. Just like the letter Marty wrote and gave to Doc Brown to warn him that when he returned to the future, there were terrorists waiting to kill him. He desperately wanted to give him that information, so he could take whatever precautions necessary to avoid a fatal outcome. It was within Marty’s power to warn him and give him the letter, but it was Doc Browns resistance to know the future that made him tear up the letter.
Most of us live our lives as a Doc Brown, acting like there’s satisfaction that the future “is what it is”, we can’t change it, except now you know – we actually can. We can tape the message back together and find a bullet proof vest to save ourselves.
This principle when applied is your metaphorical Marty McFly, having come from the future to tell you, Doc Brown, about this special life perspective and “moment mindset”. It’s the heads up that enables you to take different actions, which will generate more positive outcomes in your current and future life.
So . . . now that you know what you know – there is no more blissful ignorance. There are only two choices. Use the LTM mindset as a way of treating others and a life philosophy that brings joy, and most importantly, the peace of mind that your future, which is happening at this very moment, is and will be, as good as it could have possibly been.
Or continue to live the same way, as a kind of Doc Brown, who made a willful decision not to read the letter, do nothing, ensuring a future where you’re gunned down by terrorists.
This Birthday, and every Birthday going forward, reflect on the moments of your life. Celebrate them and take stock of how you got where you are and most importantly, count your blessings. Think of those who Lived the Moment with you, generating some of your most precious memories and life experiences.
Peter Drucker said, “The greatest way to predict the future, is to create it”. We create our future by the way we view and live the moments of our lives. We all have a choice to let them slip by, to Live in the Moment, or to Live the Moment.
The choice is yours.
Happy Birthday.